as of 5-12...
I don't want to go home. I'll have to in a few weeks, and i'm dreading it. My sister will be there, and i'll be forced to talk to her. My mom will be there, enough said. They'll drag me into their *%$# problems. I'll be the mediator. I'll be the outsider. I'll be the one who watches, and hears, and hurts. random song lyrics of the night:
I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't and I cannot stop pacing give me a few hours and I'll have this all sorted out if my mind would just stop racing I cannot stand still I cannot be this unsturdy this cannot be happening this is over my head but underneath my feet because by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat and everything will be back to the way it was I wish that it was just that easy I am waiting for tonight then waiting for tomorrow and I am somewhere in between what is real and just a dream would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again I don't want to run away from this I know that I just don't need this
catch your breath hit the wall scream out as loud as you start to crawl back in your cage the only place where they will leave you alone 'cause the weak will seek the weaker until they've broken them could you get it back again would it be the same fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense left you with no defense they tore it down and I have felt the same as you, I've felt the same as you, I've felt the same locked inside the only place where you feel sheltered where you feel safe you lost yourself in your search to find something else to hide behind the fearful always preyed upon your confidence did they see the consequence when they pushed you around the arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones breaking them 'til they've become just another crown refuse to feel, anything at all refuse to slip, refuse to fall can't be weak, can't stand still you watch your back 'cause no one will you don't know why they had to go this far traded your worth for these scars for your only company don't believe the lies that they told to you not one word was true you're alright, you're alright, you're alright
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A good hymn
Of the Father遯ｶ蜀ｱ love begotten, ere the worlds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega, He the source, the ending He,
Of the things that are, that have been,
And that future years shall see, evermore and evermore!
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